Sunday, April 26, 2009

Back Again!!!

Hola Amigos! Or even better in George Thekkemoottil’s basha*, What is up, doggies???

Yes, yes I do know that I had disappeared from blog action for a long long time. But I am back in a new and improved version (Just like those old Surf Excel ads). It is up to you, my friends to decide how much improved have I become. As my regular 2 readers would know that Iz arrived 4 months back. She is a sweet tempered child that sometimes I doubt whether she is my baby and then she starts howling and I rest assured that she is 100% mine ;-)

I do have loads of tales to tell, but l have been lacking the motivation to blog and also my best friend “lazyness” never left my side. Now that my friend has taken a short break I thought I would post.

You know after my delivery I had visions of instantly turning into a “yummy mummy” like Malaika Arora & Karishma Kapoor, but when I saw myself in the mirror I got a shock, I still looked 9 months pregnant. Hubz even thought that I had another baby in my tummy. Now after 4 months I have partially reached my dream. I have become a mummy but have miles to go before I reach the yummy part.

As regards the improvement in me, I think I have become the female version of this guy. When I first saw the movie I laughed because it was so ludicrous. But now when I see myself I have great respect for Tom Brady who is the brains behind the movie. You still don’t believe this, let me explain further. By the last term of my pregnancy I had become what some people would call as a cross between a beached whale cum elephant. Also the way I walked at office my colleagues very lovingly called it “the waddle”. Like MJ patented the moonwalk, I had patented “the waddle” which would mean that I am in the territory of Mrs.Duck. Once Iz came into my life I was alternating between a proud mother hen clucking away to glory looking at the perfect little fingers and toes and a tigress protecting her cub. I didn’t let her out of sight even for a second. Of course the other word for my behavior is paranoia but I am sure most new moms are like this. Since in my earlier life I was somebody who needed a minimum of 10 hours sleep to be sweet tempered and civil, just imagine my plight when all I got was a few catnaps in betweeen the endless feeding sessions. Of course hubz was the one who bore the brunt of it as I was barking at him all the time. Poor guy was so traumatized that now also he looks for reasons to be away from home so that he can move away from the line of fire. Of course now that Iz has grown up a bit and we understand each other better, Iz & me have loads of fun monkeying around .

Whaaat???Even after all this explanation, you guys still don’t believe that I am the female Rob Schneider… Alright … Just ask Hubz… He will surely agree …. ;-)

*basha : language

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Hmmm, it’s been a loooonnngggg time since I have been giving the cold shoulder to this tiny space of mine. I have several solid reasons that I can tell you but I am not sure whether you have the patience to listen to them.

Well, excuse no: 1: Pregnancy - I tell you, this is an excellent excuse to get away with anything and everything :-)

Sample this …
Hubz: "Why have you not posted nephew’s b’day card?"
Eljo: *said b’day card had totally skipped her mind, takes some time to think* "Oh, I am pregnant!!! How can you ask me to do any task???!#&$&"

Hubz: *comes home tired hoping to eat something nice and warm. Sees there is no food* “What??? No dinner??? ”
Eljo: *busy switching channels on TV* “Hmmm, I am pregnant. How can you expect me to cook food??? #@^$& ”

Eljo: *busy polishing off chocolate mousse cake before moving on to palada payasam which a friend has generously shared*
Hubz: *looks on with genuine wonder as to how one person can eat so much*
Eljo: “Don’t even think about it!!! I am pregnant and I have the license to hog”
Hubz: “But I didn’t even say anything…”

So you see dear people, this one reason itself has been so good and effective that I haven’t had the opportunity to rack my brains for any other reason. But now that there is barely 8 weeks of pregnancy left, I have to seriously start thinking of other reasons to continue my obnoxious behaviour and generally take life easy.

So my dear peoples, please to give me some solid reasons so that I can continue to get away with doing exactly as I please and poor Hubz has no choice but to keep his mouth shut. Your suggestions would be tried on Hubz to test the effectiveness and the person who offers the most successful suggestion would have my undying gratitude and can expect similar suggestions from me in their times of need ;-)

Monday, June 23, 2008


* comes wearing a thorth on the head and checks if anybody is looking. Relieved that nobody is looking, quickly posts and scoots away lest she gets some pulicha therry from blogfriends*

Me dears, I don’t think anybody would have really noticed my leave of absence from the blogging world. Yeah, yeah, except for the two of you :-)

Well, hubz and me have been on this mission to expand the Indian population in Holland.
If all goes well by end Dec / early Jan, we will be adding one more crazy mallu to our midst.

So why this long delay ??? you rightly ask…

Me dears, by no means is this an easy mission. The only silver lining I see currently is the license to hog. While earlier people would look horrifyingly at fast disappearing plates kept in front of me, now people look indulgently.

Me seriously thinks that hubz is also having some “good news”. This mind boggling Sherlock Holmes kinda deduction was made after observing hubz’s ever increasing appetite. You know one way its good to have company as we both can waddle to some nice restaurant and polish off food like there is no tomorrow and still not feel the lightest tinge of guilt.

So bring on all the high caloried till now eating only in dreams kinda grub. We believe in not wasting any golden opportunity :-)

See ya around …

Thorth – towel
Pulicha therry – not to be confused with ripe cherry. Plainly put means choicest abuses.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Hair Raising Tales – Part II

Statutory Warning: Any resemblance to any living persons are purely intentional ;-p

Scene 1:

Cast: Guy, Gal and Gal’s sis on visit
Time : Friday evening relaxing at home in the weekend mode.

Gal : *depressed as her new hair cut is not making her look younger. In fact, it makes her look like a wet hen with spiked feathers, owing to the stupid mousse the hairdresser used* “My hair is a disaster $(#%(#%)%”

Guy: “Here, have a glass of red wine” *Guy’s way of solving all problems in the world is by having a glass of red wine. Alternate solution is having a glass of beer of course!*

Scene 2:

Gal: *Drinking her red wine contemplating for the nth time why the hairdresser had to use the mousse*

Sis: “Chech, remember the fringe you had ages ago???”

Gal: *getting out of her reverie* “What, where, when??? Oh, the one I had a decade ago! ”

Guy : *guffawing* “Fringe!@#$& You had a fringe ”
Gal: *selective hearing mode on. Conveniently ignores Guy. Listens to Sis*

Sis: “You know you used to look quite cute with the fringe. ”

Guy: *still guffawing* “Fringe!@#$& You had a fringe ”

Scene 3:

Gal: *slinks away to the bedroom and chops off a lock of hair, looks at the mirror and checks whether she looks 10 years younger. Sees that answer is NO and chops off some more*

Guy & Sis: *hears no sound of Gal and comes to inspect, as they are sure that Gal is upto some mischief as she is unusually quiet*

Sis: What???@$$)@#$* You cut your hair.

Gal: *a wry grimace and tries to cover up the disaster*

Guy: *still guffawing* “Fringe!@#$& Now, you have a fringe. Is this what is called Fringe Benefits??? ”

Sis: “You know we should cut some more, then only it will be even”

Gal: *Lets Sis chop off some more hair*

Scene 4:

Gal: *gets up in the morning. Sees the “fringe” standing up like that of Dennis, the Menace. Infact looks even worse; it actually resembles a “ra” written in Malayalam* “Sis#@*$* you better take a life insurance. There’s no way I am letting you walk away from this. ”

Guy: *howling with laugher, but tries to muffle his laughter owing to the steely glare from the gal*

Sis: *slinking away and not making any smartass comments owing to her fear for her life*

Scene 5:

Gal * desperately applying water, oil, gel to straighten the said “RA” to make it look more decent & respectable*

Moral of the story: Never underestimate the power of one glass of red wine especially when drunk on an empty stomach. It makes you do unimaginable things….


Thursday, April 10, 2008

Tagged Again!!!

After the last tag, I thought my blog friend had enough of me, but NO! He has tagged me again. You have no choice but to obey the BIG CHEF.
Warning: These trivias of self has the potential to give you a headache. So read it at your own risk….

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER: Now movie theatres and me don’t get along well. I prefer watching movies in the comfort of my home without taking the trouble to dress up and looking presentable. I guess the last movie in a theatre was Om Shanti Om.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Stopped serious reading ever since I got married as I realised the food doesn’t cook by itself and the clothes don’t wash by itself. How I wish I had a magic wand!!! The problem with me is that when I get a good book I forget time and place and don’t budge until I finish reading. Currently re-reading “Daddy Long Legs” by Jean Webster in e-version. I had read this book umpteen times but still feel all mushy and nice when I read this book.

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Don’t have the brains or patience for anything except Snake & Ladders and may be Carom. But I am terrible at Carom.

4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Used to be Reader’s digest, but now I find that it has more ads and pics than content. So I stick with old issues of RD, courtesy FIL’s book collection.

5. FAVORITE SMELLS? Nail polish / Paint, Kerosene, Aroma of freshly cooked food wafting from Mom’s kitchen (anything except fish and meat), Smell of citric fruits.

6. FAVORITE SOUND? Mom humming in the kitchen. Hearing the ruckus the entire family creates on get-togethers especially the little cousins.

7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Feeling helpless.

What do I make for breakfast????

9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? A nameless chat-wala who sits next to Roopak Dry fruit centre in Ajmal Khan Market in Delhi. He makes the most amazing Aloo chat and Aloo tikki.

10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? After loads of fights, tears and tantrums (from my side), Hubz & me have agreed on ISABEL. Fighting, tearing and tantrumming still continuing on a suitable Boy name.

11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I’D...?Quit my job and open a children’s library. It would be exactly like Meg Ryan’s “Shop around the corner” in “You’ve got mail”

12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST? I hate driving and I don’t drive unless there is absolutely no other way. I drive SLOW.

13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? Would Hubz count? To my defence, he is really stuffed to the gills after dinner ;-)


15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? Cars & me don’t go hand in hand or should I say hand in wheel.

16. FAVORITE DRINK? Hot water, Fresh fruit Juices, Masala Chai.

17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD sleeeeeppppp to my heart’s content. (my wishes are very primitive)

18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI? Slurrrrpppp, absolutely….

19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?Earlier had streaked red, now I have natural silver streaks. I am guessing given a choice it would be copper.

20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.Trichur, Cherthala, Aluva, Madras, Bombay, Delhi, Ernakulam, Bangalore, Pala, London, Amsterdam.

21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Figure skating, gymnastics.

Strictly tongue in cheek characterised by the smiley ;-P I guess looking at the smiley, the right expression would be tongue out of cheek. Has a knack of brightening up people’s days through his writing.

23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Kokachi, me thinks.

24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?Yes, but a less moody one.

25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL? Morning person

26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP? Can I have an omelette, please???

27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX? Wherever my family is at that moment. High on the list is definitely Kerala.

28. FAVORITE PIE? Hot Apple Strudel with warm Vanila Sauce

29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Lychee & Ginger from Haigen Daz, Strawberry cheesecake from Ben & Jerry’s, Tender coconut & Seethaphal flavours from Naturals.


And this tag goes to…some of the nice people who took the trouble to comment on my blog. The others were already tagged by sis and other bloggers :-(



Monday, March 31, 2008

Arrivals & Departures

Don’t you just love arrivals at international terminals??? I for one am totally in love with them. The whole place is seeped in positive energy. Had to spend quite a lot of time last friday at arrivals as sis’s flight was severely delayed thanx to the wonderful operation of T5. If you just check their website they promise you a wonderful travel experience and if sis’s experience is anything to go by, I wouldn’t be travelling via T5 any soon.

Anyways, I am digressing. So I was mentioning about my love for arrivals. I love waiting by the arrivals and looking at the expression of the people. If by definition the person who arrives is the “arriver”, you don’t need a load of brains to decipher that the person who is waiting is the “waiter” ;-)

I love to observe the flock of waiters at the terminal waiting for their loved ones. The look of eager anticipation, balloons and flowers in their hands and sometimes whacky messages in huge cut-outs. I so love when little kids are also present. Usually they have the most honest expressions. Where as adults, we are more tied down by acceptable social behaviour in public; the kids are lucky that they are not bound by such silly norms. Its always heartening to see the little ones running to their grand parents / parents / cousins / or whomever they are waiting for with such unbridled enthusiasm.

I got to see this most touching scene last Friday. A father was waiting alongside me for his family. The door opened and there came his wife and two little kids; a little girl of about 4 and a small boy of about 2. The way the kids ran up to their dad and jumped on him calling him “Pappy” I felt he was the richest man in the universe. Then came the turn of his wife and they looked deep into each other’s eyes, and they hugged and kissed. The kids had made some drawing for their dad on the flight and they were busy showing their pictures to their Pappy who was looking at them very appreciatively. I could sense that I was not the only one who was watching with this scene with the utmost interest. I turned around and saw many more people smiling wistfully looking at this cute family. I am sure that this scene will remain with me for a long time.

All this positive energy really gets to me and poor hubz is left wondering how his ill-tempered shrew of a wife turns all marsh-mellowy once she lands at the airport. Conversely, I am terrible at departure terminal. Even if I am not feeling terribly sad, all the sobbing and nose-blowing gets to me and I am back to my usual ill-tempered self.

I am partial about Arrivals specifically at the International terminal as the emotions there are multi-fold. Nowadays domestic air travel is so common that emotions are akin to boarding a bus.

And if you were wondering how I greeted the sis, we air-kissed. Showing emotions in public and US….. NO WAY!!!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Impressions on Dubai

We were on a “blink and you miss it” trip to Kerala for Easter and had the opportunity to visit Dubai enroute for a day.

Till some time back, the name “Dubai” conjured up visions of wealth, rich Sheiks, dates, palm trees and of course gold, camels and desert safaris. This perception changed a bit when I got to see the wonderful movie “Arabikatha” by Lal Jose. This movie was an eye-opener. Earlier in Malayalam movies anybody coming from the Gulf was shown as having pot loads of money and arriving in a taxi with atrocious goggles, a garish bold printed shirt with the first three buttons unbuttoned, some 2-3 gold chains around the neck, a thick gold bracelet (ewwww) and baggages arranged vertically on top of the taxi, Lal Jose showed a different Dubai; where people were suffering, where people were willing to do anything to survive and support families back home in Kerala. Actually being in Dubai, we felt we were in the land of Cuba Mukundan. (Protagonist of Arabikatha). Lal Jose has done a pretty spot on depiction of the life of mallus in Dubai.

The one thing which hit me immediately on landing in Dubai was that it was an XXXL version of our own Amchi Mumbai. The amount of mallus just shocked me. Whereas here in the Netherlands, hubz and me get away with gossiping about passers-by in Malayalam, there we had to be on guard as every third person on the road was a Mallu. Added to the fact that our cabbie was a Mallu, Saravana Bhavan was playing mallu movie songs, the tamilian waiter in the said Bhavan spoke mallu; after a while I got the feeling that there were more Mallus in Dubai than in Kerala.

Well, everything in Dubai has to be the tallest, the biggest, the largest… (Hmmmm, we get the picture, don’t we?) The amount of construction, which is happening there is shocking. The malls there are gigantic. Apparently there is this group of people called “mall-walkers” who walk around the mall for exercise!?!? Covering about one tenth of the “Mall of the Emirates” I can understand that you can burn some calories by just walking around the gargantuan shopping complex.

Traffic jams are much worse than Bombay and Bangalore. Living conditions are even worser than Mumbai chawls. Our friend was considered leading a luxurious life as he had a single room all for himself inspite of the fact of shared kitchen and shared bathroom facilities. Apparently in a room like his, it is the usual norm for atleast 3 people to stay. Rents are exhorbitant and unless one has an extremely well paying job it is not worthwhile to stay in Dubai.

I wonder what were the mallu people thinking in marrying off their daughters to some bloke in Dubai without even checking about the quality of life there. I guess the same question applies to people marrying off daughters to guys in US, UK and a host of other countries as well. Just because the guy is working in “foreign”, the guy is considered as a “good catch” !!!

Its quite a strange paradox that while Dubai’s emergence as one of the world-class cities attributes quite a huge chunk of its growth to the toiling mallu populace, it is the same mallus who still act as a hindrance to Kerala’s growth.

P.S. I am talking about the life of an average mallu here and not that of the super-rich.