Statutory Warning: Any resemblance to any living persons are purely intentional ;-p
Scene 1:
Cast: Guy, Gal and Gal’s sis on visit
Time : Friday evening relaxing at home in the weekend mode.
Gal : *depressed as her new hair cut is not making her look younger. In fact, it makes her look like a wet hen with spiked feathers, owing to the stupid mousse the hairdresser used* “My hair is a disaster $(#%(#%)%”
Guy: “Here, have a glass of red wine” *Guy’s way of solving all problems in the world is by having a glass of red wine. Alternate solution is having a glass of beer of course!*
Scene 2:
Gal: *Drinking her red wine contemplating for the nth time why the hairdresser had to use the mousse*
Sis: “Chech, remember the fringe you had ages ago???”
Gal: *getting out of her reverie* “What, where, when??? Oh, the one I had a decade ago! ”
Guy : *guffawing* “Fringe!@#$& You had a fringe ”
Gal: *selective hearing mode on. Conveniently ignores Guy. Listens to Sis*
Sis: “You know you used to look quite cute with the fringe. ”
Guy: *still guffawing* “Fringe!@#$& You had a fringe ”
Scene 3:
Gal: *slinks away to the bedroom and chops off a lock of hair, looks at the mirror and checks whether she looks 10 years younger. Sees that answer is NO and chops off some more*
Guy & Sis: *hears no sound of Gal and comes to inspect, as they are sure that Gal is upto some mischief as she is unusually quiet*
Sis: What???@$$)@#$* You cut your hair.
Gal: *a wry grimace and tries to cover up the disaster*
Guy: *still guffawing* “Fringe!@#$& Now, you have a fringe. Is this what is called Fringe Benefits??? ”
Sis: “You know we should cut some more, then only it will be even”
Gal: *Lets Sis chop off some more hair*
Scene 4:
Gal: *gets up in the morning. Sees the “fringe” standing up like that of Dennis, the Menace. Infact looks even worse; it actually resembles a “ra” written in Malayalam* “Sis#@*$* you better take a life insurance. There’s no way I am letting you walk away from this. ”
Guy: *howling with laugher, but tries to muffle his laughter owing to the steely glare from the gal*
Sis: *slinking away and not making any smartass comments owing to her fear for her life*
Scene 5:
Gal * desperately applying water, oil, gel to straighten the said “RA” to make it look more decent & respectable*
Moral of the story: Never underestimate the power of one glass of red wine especially when drunk on an empty stomach. It makes you do unimaginable things….
**********
Friday, April 18, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tagged Again!!!
After the last tag, I thought my blog friend had enough of me, but NO! He has tagged me again. You have no choice but to obey the BIG CHEF.
Warning: These trivias of self has the potential to give you a headache. So read it at your own risk….
1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER: Now movie theatres and me don’t get along well. I prefer watching movies in the comfort of my home without taking the trouble to dress up and looking presentable. I guess the last movie in a theatre was Om Shanti Om.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Stopped serious reading ever since I got married as I realised the food doesn’t cook by itself and the clothes don’t wash by itself. How I wish I had a magic wand!!! The problem with me is that when I get a good book I forget time and place and don’t budge until I finish reading. Currently re-reading “Daddy Long Legs” by Jean Webster in e-version. I had read this book umpteen times but still feel all mushy and nice when I read this book.
3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Don’t have the brains or patience for anything except Snake & Ladders and may be Carom. But I am terrible at Carom.
4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Used to be Reader’s digest, but now I find that it has more ads and pics than content. So I stick with old issues of RD, courtesy FIL’s book collection.
5. FAVORITE SMELLS? Nail polish / Paint, Kerosene, Aroma of freshly cooked food wafting from Mom’s kitchen (anything except fish and meat), Smell of citric fruits.
6. FAVORITE SOUND? Mom humming in the kitchen. Hearing the ruckus the entire family creates on get-togethers especially the little cousins.
7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Feeling helpless.
8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?
What do I make for breakfast????
9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? A nameless chat-wala who sits next to Roopak Dry fruit centre in Ajmal Khan Market in Delhi. He makes the most amazing Aloo chat and Aloo tikki.
10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? After loads of fights, tears and tantrums (from my side), Hubz & me have agreed on ISABEL. Fighting, tearing and tantrumming still continuing on a suitable Boy name.
11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I’D...?Quit my job and open a children’s library. It would be exactly like Meg Ryan’s “Shop around the corner” in “You’ve got mail”
12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST? I hate driving and I don’t drive unless there is absolutely no other way. I drive SLOW.
13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? Would Hubz count? To my defence, he is really stuffed to the gills after dinner ;-)
14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY? Cool
15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? Cars & me don’t go hand in hand or should I say hand in wheel.
16. FAVORITE DRINK? Hot water, Fresh fruit Juices, Masala Chai.
17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD sleeeeeppppp to my heart’s content. (my wishes are very primitive)
18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI? Slurrrrpppp, absolutely….
19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?Earlier had streaked red, now I have natural silver streaks. I am guessing given a choice it would be copper.
20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.Trichur, Cherthala, Aluva, Madras, Bombay, Delhi, Ernakulam, Bangalore, Pala, London, Amsterdam.
21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Figure skating, gymnastics.
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
Strictly tongue in cheek characterised by the smiley ;-P I guess looking at the smiley, the right expression would be tongue out of cheek. Has a knack of brightening up people’s days through his writing.
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Kokachi, me thinks.
24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?Yes, but a less moody one.
25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL? Morning person
26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP? Can I have an omelette, please???
27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX? Wherever my family is at that moment. High on the list is definitely Kerala.
28. FAVORITE PIE? Hot Apple Strudel with warm Vanila Sauce
29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Lychee & Ginger from Haigen Daz, Strawberry cheesecake from Ben & Jerry’s, Tender coconut & Seethaphal flavours from Naturals.
30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST? No clue...
And this tag goes to…some of the nice people who took the trouble to comment on my blog. The others were already tagged by sis and other bloggers :-(
Anphy
Nmouse
Warning: These trivias of self has the potential to give you a headache. So read it at your own risk….
1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER: Now movie theatres and me don’t get along well. I prefer watching movies in the comfort of my home without taking the trouble to dress up and looking presentable. I guess the last movie in a theatre was Om Shanti Om.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Stopped serious reading ever since I got married as I realised the food doesn’t cook by itself and the clothes don’t wash by itself. How I wish I had a magic wand!!! The problem with me is that when I get a good book I forget time and place and don’t budge until I finish reading. Currently re-reading “Daddy Long Legs” by Jean Webster in e-version. I had read this book umpteen times but still feel all mushy and nice when I read this book.
3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Don’t have the brains or patience for anything except Snake & Ladders and may be Carom. But I am terrible at Carom.
4. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Used to be Reader’s digest, but now I find that it has more ads and pics than content. So I stick with old issues of RD, courtesy FIL’s book collection.
5. FAVORITE SMELLS? Nail polish / Paint, Kerosene, Aroma of freshly cooked food wafting from Mom’s kitchen (anything except fish and meat), Smell of citric fruits.
6. FAVORITE SOUND? Mom humming in the kitchen. Hearing the ruckus the entire family creates on get-togethers especially the little cousins.
7. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? Feeling helpless.
8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE?
What do I make for breakfast????
9. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE? A nameless chat-wala who sits next to Roopak Dry fruit centre in Ajmal Khan Market in Delhi. He makes the most amazing Aloo chat and Aloo tikki.
10. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? After loads of fights, tears and tantrums (from my side), Hubz & me have agreed on ISABEL. Fighting, tearing and tantrumming still continuing on a suitable Boy name.
11. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I’D...?Quit my job and open a children’s library. It would be exactly like Meg Ryan’s “Shop around the corner” in “You’ve got mail”
12. DO YOU DRIVE FAST? I hate driving and I don’t drive unless there is absolutely no other way. I drive SLOW.
13. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? Would Hubz count? To my defence, he is really stuffed to the gills after dinner ;-)
14. STORMS-COOL OR SCARY? Cool
15. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? Cars & me don’t go hand in hand or should I say hand in wheel.
16. FAVORITE DRINK? Hot water, Fresh fruit Juices, Masala Chai.
17. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD sleeeeeppppp to my heart’s content. (my wishes are very primitive)
18. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI? Slurrrrpppp, absolutely….
19. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?Earlier had streaked red, now I have natural silver streaks. I am guessing given a choice it would be copper.
20. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN.Trichur, Cherthala, Aluva, Madras, Bombay, Delhi, Ernakulam, Bangalore, Pala, London, Amsterdam.
21. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Figure skating, gymnastics.
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU.
Strictly tongue in cheek characterised by the smiley ;-P I guess looking at the smiley, the right expression would be tongue out of cheek. Has a knack of brightening up people’s days through his writing.
23. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Kokachi, me thinks.
24. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?Yes, but a less moody one.
25. MORNING PERSON, OR NIGHT OWL? Morning person
26. OVER EASY, OR SUNNY SIDE UP? Can I have an omelette, please???
27. FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX? Wherever my family is at that moment. High on the list is definitely Kerala.
28. FAVORITE PIE? Hot Apple Strudel with warm Vanila Sauce
29. FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Lychee & Ginger from Haigen Daz, Strawberry cheesecake from Ben & Jerry’s, Tender coconut & Seethaphal flavours from Naturals.
30. OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU TAGGED THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST? No clue...
And this tag goes to…some of the nice people who took the trouble to comment on my blog. The others were already tagged by sis and other bloggers :-(
Anphy
Nmouse
Monday, March 31, 2008
Arrivals & Departures
Don’t you just love arrivals at international terminals??? I for one am totally in love with them. The whole place is seeped in positive energy. Had to spend quite a lot of time last friday at arrivals as sis’s flight was severely delayed thanx to the wonderful operation of T5. If you just check their website they promise you a wonderful travel experience and if sis’s experience is anything to go by, I wouldn’t be travelling via T5 any soon.
Anyways, I am digressing. So I was mentioning about my love for arrivals. I love waiting by the arrivals and looking at the expression of the people. If by definition the person who arrives is the “arriver”, you don’t need a load of brains to decipher that the person who is waiting is the “waiter” ;-)
I love to observe the flock of waiters at the terminal waiting for their loved ones. The look of eager anticipation, balloons and flowers in their hands and sometimes whacky messages in huge cut-outs. I so love when little kids are also present. Usually they have the most honest expressions. Where as adults, we are more tied down by acceptable social behaviour in public; the kids are lucky that they are not bound by such silly norms. Its always heartening to see the little ones running to their grand parents / parents / cousins / or whomever they are waiting for with such unbridled enthusiasm.
I got to see this most touching scene last Friday. A father was waiting alongside me for his family. The door opened and there came his wife and two little kids; a little girl of about 4 and a small boy of about 2. The way the kids ran up to their dad and jumped on him calling him “Pappy” I felt he was the richest man in the universe. Then came the turn of his wife and they looked deep into each other’s eyes, and they hugged and kissed. The kids had made some drawing for their dad on the flight and they were busy showing their pictures to their Pappy who was looking at them very appreciatively. I could sense that I was not the only one who was watching with this scene with the utmost interest. I turned around and saw many more people smiling wistfully looking at this cute family. I am sure that this scene will remain with me for a long time.
All this positive energy really gets to me and poor hubz is left wondering how his ill-tempered shrew of a wife turns all marsh-mellowy once she lands at the airport. Conversely, I am terrible at departure terminal. Even if I am not feeling terribly sad, all the sobbing and nose-blowing gets to me and I am back to my usual ill-tempered self.
I am partial about Arrivals specifically at the International terminal as the emotions there are multi-fold. Nowadays domestic air travel is so common that emotions are akin to boarding a bus.
And if you were wondering how I greeted the sis, we air-kissed. Showing emotions in public and US….. NO WAY!!!
Anyways, I am digressing. So I was mentioning about my love for arrivals. I love waiting by the arrivals and looking at the expression of the people. If by definition the person who arrives is the “arriver”, you don’t need a load of brains to decipher that the person who is waiting is the “waiter” ;-)
I love to observe the flock of waiters at the terminal waiting for their loved ones. The look of eager anticipation, balloons and flowers in their hands and sometimes whacky messages in huge cut-outs. I so love when little kids are also present. Usually they have the most honest expressions. Where as adults, we are more tied down by acceptable social behaviour in public; the kids are lucky that they are not bound by such silly norms. Its always heartening to see the little ones running to their grand parents / parents / cousins / or whomever they are waiting for with such unbridled enthusiasm.
I got to see this most touching scene last Friday. A father was waiting alongside me for his family. The door opened and there came his wife and two little kids; a little girl of about 4 and a small boy of about 2. The way the kids ran up to their dad and jumped on him calling him “Pappy” I felt he was the richest man in the universe. Then came the turn of his wife and they looked deep into each other’s eyes, and they hugged and kissed. The kids had made some drawing for their dad on the flight and they were busy showing their pictures to their Pappy who was looking at them very appreciatively. I could sense that I was not the only one who was watching with this scene with the utmost interest. I turned around and saw many more people smiling wistfully looking at this cute family. I am sure that this scene will remain with me for a long time.
All this positive energy really gets to me and poor hubz is left wondering how his ill-tempered shrew of a wife turns all marsh-mellowy once she lands at the airport. Conversely, I am terrible at departure terminal. Even if I am not feeling terribly sad, all the sobbing and nose-blowing gets to me and I am back to my usual ill-tempered self.
I am partial about Arrivals specifically at the International terminal as the emotions there are multi-fold. Nowadays domestic air travel is so common that emotions are akin to boarding a bus.
And if you were wondering how I greeted the sis, we air-kissed. Showing emotions in public and US….. NO WAY!!!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Impressions on Dubai
We were on a “blink and you miss it” trip to Kerala for Easter and had the opportunity to visit Dubai enroute for a day.
Till some time back, the name “Dubai” conjured up visions of wealth, rich Sheiks, dates, palm trees and of course gold, camels and desert safaris. This perception changed a bit when I got to see the wonderful movie “Arabikatha” by Lal Jose. This movie was an eye-opener. Earlier in Malayalam movies anybody coming from the Gulf was shown as having pot loads of money and arriving in a taxi with atrocious goggles, a garish bold printed shirt with the first three buttons unbuttoned, some 2-3 gold chains around the neck, a thick gold bracelet (ewwww) and baggages arranged vertically on top of the taxi, Lal Jose showed a different Dubai; where people were suffering, where people were willing to do anything to survive and support families back home in Kerala. Actually being in Dubai, we felt we were in the land of Cuba Mukundan. (Protagonist of Arabikatha). Lal Jose has done a pretty spot on depiction of the life of mallus in Dubai.
The one thing which hit me immediately on landing in Dubai was that it was an XXXL version of our own Amchi Mumbai. The amount of mallus just shocked me. Whereas here in the Netherlands, hubz and me get away with gossiping about passers-by in Malayalam, there we had to be on guard as every third person on the road was a Mallu. Added to the fact that our cabbie was a Mallu, Saravana Bhavan was playing mallu movie songs, the tamilian waiter in the said Bhavan spoke mallu; after a while I got the feeling that there were more Mallus in Dubai than in Kerala.
Well, everything in Dubai has to be the tallest, the biggest, the largest… (Hmmmm, we get the picture, don’t we?) The amount of construction, which is happening there is shocking. The malls there are gigantic. Apparently there is this group of people called “mall-walkers” who walk around the mall for exercise!?!? Covering about one tenth of the “Mall of the Emirates” I can understand that you can burn some calories by just walking around the gargantuan shopping complex.
Traffic jams are much worse than Bombay and Bangalore. Living conditions are even worser than Mumbai chawls. Our friend was considered leading a luxurious life as he had a single room all for himself inspite of the fact of shared kitchen and shared bathroom facilities. Apparently in a room like his, it is the usual norm for atleast 3 people to stay. Rents are exhorbitant and unless one has an extremely well paying job it is not worthwhile to stay in Dubai.
I wonder what were the mallu people thinking in marrying off their daughters to some bloke in Dubai without even checking about the quality of life there. I guess the same question applies to people marrying off daughters to guys in US, UK and a host of other countries as well. Just because the guy is working in “foreign”, the guy is considered as a “good catch” !!!
Its quite a strange paradox that while Dubai’s emergence as one of the world-class cities attributes quite a huge chunk of its growth to the toiling mallu populace, it is the same mallus who still act as a hindrance to Kerala’s growth.
P.S. I am talking about the life of an average mallu here and not that of the super-rich.
Till some time back, the name “Dubai” conjured up visions of wealth, rich Sheiks, dates, palm trees and of course gold, camels and desert safaris. This perception changed a bit when I got to see the wonderful movie “Arabikatha” by Lal Jose. This movie was an eye-opener. Earlier in Malayalam movies anybody coming from the Gulf was shown as having pot loads of money and arriving in a taxi with atrocious goggles, a garish bold printed shirt with the first three buttons unbuttoned, some 2-3 gold chains around the neck, a thick gold bracelet (ewwww) and baggages arranged vertically on top of the taxi, Lal Jose showed a different Dubai; where people were suffering, where people were willing to do anything to survive and support families back home in Kerala. Actually being in Dubai, we felt we were in the land of Cuba Mukundan. (Protagonist of Arabikatha). Lal Jose has done a pretty spot on depiction of the life of mallus in Dubai.
The one thing which hit me immediately on landing in Dubai was that it was an XXXL version of our own Amchi Mumbai. The amount of mallus just shocked me. Whereas here in the Netherlands, hubz and me get away with gossiping about passers-by in Malayalam, there we had to be on guard as every third person on the road was a Mallu. Added to the fact that our cabbie was a Mallu, Saravana Bhavan was playing mallu movie songs, the tamilian waiter in the said Bhavan spoke mallu; after a while I got the feeling that there were more Mallus in Dubai than in Kerala.
Well, everything in Dubai has to be the tallest, the biggest, the largest… (Hmmmm, we get the picture, don’t we?) The amount of construction, which is happening there is shocking. The malls there are gigantic. Apparently there is this group of people called “mall-walkers” who walk around the mall for exercise!?!? Covering about one tenth of the “Mall of the Emirates” I can understand that you can burn some calories by just walking around the gargantuan shopping complex.
Traffic jams are much worse than Bombay and Bangalore. Living conditions are even worser than Mumbai chawls. Our friend was considered leading a luxurious life as he had a single room all for himself inspite of the fact of shared kitchen and shared bathroom facilities. Apparently in a room like his, it is the usual norm for atleast 3 people to stay. Rents are exhorbitant and unless one has an extremely well paying job it is not worthwhile to stay in Dubai.
I wonder what were the mallu people thinking in marrying off their daughters to some bloke in Dubai without even checking about the quality of life there. I guess the same question applies to people marrying off daughters to guys in US, UK and a host of other countries as well. Just because the guy is working in “foreign”, the guy is considered as a “good catch” !!!
Its quite a strange paradox that while Dubai’s emergence as one of the world-class cities attributes quite a huge chunk of its growth to the toiling mallu populace, it is the same mallus who still act as a hindrance to Kerala’s growth.
P.S. I am talking about the life of an average mallu here and not that of the super-rich.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Specs Appeal!!!
Yes, that’s right! Not a typo, not an oversight, I did write Specs Appeal. This is something, which I have by the truckloads.
Now I see you people scratching your head and wondering what is this darn thing? *taking my time and enjoying my 2.5 seconds of fame and speculation* Ok, Ok before you guys get bored and run away, let me get straight into the explanation… It’s a long story…Mind it! Rascala ;-)
As per Section 2 (d) of the Intangible Qualities Act, “Specs appeal is that extra quotient of unidentifiable matter which alters your appearance significantly with and without a pair of spectacles that an acquaintance takes 2 seconds longer to identify you”.
I have been hearing about how different I look w / w out my spectacles quite often that I came with this term “Specs Appeal” to pacify the confused / startled acquaintances.
Typical Scenario:
Day 1: Me in spectacles greeting a newbie at office.
Eljo : Hi, so everything fine? Did you get accommodation? *and similar such pleasantries*
Newbie: Yes, fine. Settled quite well.
Day 2: Me in contacts greeting oldbie *IT lifecyle is really rapid*
Eljo : Hello, so settled? *scratches head to ask questions not asked the previous day and settles on the lifesaving topic “weather”*
Oldbie : Huh? Have we met before?
Eljo : *thinking there it comes* We met yesterday.
Oldbie : Oh, its you! You look so different!
Eljo : Yeah, its Specs Appeal! Bye. *runs away before more questions are asked*
Now all this looking different business started a loooonnnggg while ago.
Cut to the Sepia tinged flashback: *background score: songs from Maine Pyaar Kiya, Kilukkam, QSQT*
Spectacles became my shadow and companion ever since 8th Std. The first pair, which I got, was an Ugly Betty type and just like her I also got my braces the very same year. All you have to imagine is a gawky spotty teenager with thick soda glasses, braces on her teeth and a ponytail and that’s exactly how I looked in my initial teenage years.
Braces don’t stay on forever but spectacles do stick on like a leech. So in a few years time the braces came off but the specs stayed on but they did metamorphosise into contact lenses by the time I turned 18.
Now don’t imagine a makeover story of how the gawky & clumsy teenager turned into a babe and everybody was gasping the next time they saw her. If there were any gasps, they were only from mom on seeing sis & me dressed in jeans for yet another family function. This would be start of her standard rant which went like this “Ho, ee kochungale kondu thottu, namade veettil pani edukkan varunna Kamakshi vare evare kalum menakanu poruthe pokunney!#$!”(In angrezi all it means is “I am fed up with these girls, even our help Kamakshi goes out better dressed”) Thankfully I had sis for company and after lots of negotiations suitable outfits would be found to be worn to the countless functions.
The funny thing is about looking different is the ensuing conversations with relatives. Now that we had been away for a long time from Kerala, most of our relatives had a couple of years old image of me with the braces and specs and then they take one look and go:
Relatives: “Ayyo, ithu Eljo aano??? Aalu aake mari poyallo, pandu engane irunnathayirunnu?” (Is this Eljo??? You have cbanged a lot since the last time”)
Eljo: “Enthu cheyyam aunty, vayasai varuvalle ;-)” (What to do aunty? I am growing old)
I do realize that you don’t need to change drastically for the above- mentioned conversation. Every annual vacation to Kerala, sis & I were subjected to the very same conversation.
Cut to present time: *background score: songs from Taare Zameen Par, Bheema, Jodha Akbar*
Though I do have my contacts I prefer wearing my specs ever so often for the simple fact that I am L.A.Z.Y. and half the time I can’t be bothered about dressing up and looking presentable.
So the next time, you see a woman running around in Netherlands in unwashed jeans, hair looking like a crow’s nest, an overflowing shoulder bag and spectacles / contacts, don’t forget to come & say Hi as in 99.9999% probability its bound to be me.
I have realized over time that having Specs Appeal is actually a blessing in disguise. I look like a homely “pavam” girl when I have my glasses on. So if I have to get something done all I have to do is wear my glasses and act naïve. Other benefits include hiding from the manager to whom I had promised some requirement documents. All I have to do is just do a quick flashback and check whether I worn my glasses the previous time I met him. If Yes, wear contacts, look different. If No, wear spectacles, look different. Zo Zimble, No??? ;-)
Now I see you people scratching your head and wondering what is this darn thing? *taking my time and enjoying my 2.5 seconds of fame and speculation* Ok, Ok before you guys get bored and run away, let me get straight into the explanation… It’s a long story…Mind it! Rascala ;-)
As per Section 2 (d) of the Intangible Qualities Act, “Specs appeal is that extra quotient of unidentifiable matter which alters your appearance significantly with and without a pair of spectacles that an acquaintance takes 2 seconds longer to identify you”.
I have been hearing about how different I look w / w out my spectacles quite often that I came with this term “Specs Appeal” to pacify the confused / startled acquaintances.
Typical Scenario:
Day 1: Me in spectacles greeting a newbie at office.
Eljo : Hi, so everything fine? Did you get accommodation? *and similar such pleasantries*
Newbie: Yes, fine. Settled quite well.
Day 2: Me in contacts greeting oldbie *IT lifecyle is really rapid*
Eljo : Hello, so settled? *scratches head to ask questions not asked the previous day and settles on the lifesaving topic “weather”*
Oldbie : Huh? Have we met before?
Eljo : *thinking there it comes* We met yesterday.
Oldbie : Oh, its you! You look so different!
Eljo : Yeah, its Specs Appeal! Bye. *runs away before more questions are asked*
Now all this looking different business started a loooonnnggg while ago.
Cut to the Sepia tinged flashback: *background score: songs from Maine Pyaar Kiya, Kilukkam, QSQT*
Spectacles became my shadow and companion ever since 8th Std. The first pair, which I got, was an Ugly Betty type and just like her I also got my braces the very same year. All you have to imagine is a gawky spotty teenager with thick soda glasses, braces on her teeth and a ponytail and that’s exactly how I looked in my initial teenage years.
Braces don’t stay on forever but spectacles do stick on like a leech. So in a few years time the braces came off but the specs stayed on but they did metamorphosise into contact lenses by the time I turned 18.
Now don’t imagine a makeover story of how the gawky & clumsy teenager turned into a babe and everybody was gasping the next time they saw her. If there were any gasps, they were only from mom on seeing sis & me dressed in jeans for yet another family function. This would be start of her standard rant which went like this “Ho, ee kochungale kondu thottu, namade veettil pani edukkan varunna Kamakshi vare evare kalum menakanu poruthe pokunney!#$!”(In angrezi all it means is “I am fed up with these girls, even our help Kamakshi goes out better dressed”) Thankfully I had sis for company and after lots of negotiations suitable outfits would be found to be worn to the countless functions.
The funny thing is about looking different is the ensuing conversations with relatives. Now that we had been away for a long time from Kerala, most of our relatives had a couple of years old image of me with the braces and specs and then they take one look and go:
Relatives: “Ayyo, ithu Eljo aano??? Aalu aake mari poyallo, pandu engane irunnathayirunnu?” (Is this Eljo??? You have cbanged a lot since the last time”)
Eljo: “Enthu cheyyam aunty, vayasai varuvalle ;-)” (What to do aunty? I am growing old)
I do realize that you don’t need to change drastically for the above- mentioned conversation. Every annual vacation to Kerala, sis & I were subjected to the very same conversation.
Cut to present time: *background score: songs from Taare Zameen Par, Bheema, Jodha Akbar*
Though I do have my contacts I prefer wearing my specs ever so often for the simple fact that I am L.A.Z.Y. and half the time I can’t be bothered about dressing up and looking presentable.
So the next time, you see a woman running around in Netherlands in unwashed jeans, hair looking like a crow’s nest, an overflowing shoulder bag and spectacles / contacts, don’t forget to come & say Hi as in 99.9999% probability its bound to be me.
I have realized over time that having Specs Appeal is actually a blessing in disguise. I look like a homely “pavam” girl when I have my glasses on. So if I have to get something done all I have to do is wear my glasses and act naïve. Other benefits include hiding from the manager to whom I had promised some requirement documents. All I have to do is just do a quick flashback and check whether I worn my glasses the previous time I met him. If Yes, wear contacts, look different. If No, wear spectacles, look different. Zo Zimble, No??? ;-)
Monday, February 25, 2008
Happy Birthday Kaattu Maakan!!!
Dear Hubz,
You know we are not one of those picture postcard type couples; the types who are the epitome of maturity, wisdom and of course love. Coz we are as different as they come. If one said “ka” the other would automatically say ‘Ma”; If one likes “gulab jamun” the other likes “roshogolla”; if one is a pure non-vegetarian the other is a brahmin in disguise; if one is a pala achayan the other is a metro-mallu. Though the success rates of our shared hobbies keep fluctuating like a patient’s heartbeat in ER, still we manage to co-exist and have not yet clobbered each other though at times we have come very close to it.
You know that I am somebody who finds it very difficult to display emotions in public whereas you are so open about the way you feel. Coming from a family where display of emotions physically is a rarity, it was a culture shock initially to come into your family and start kissing everybody. Now that I have got the hang of kissing, could you plzzz invite those yummilicious cousins of yours? *wink, wink*
It is becoming increasing difficult to tone down our terms of endearment or should I say “name-calling” especially since we have so many guests at home. People visiting us would be forgiven if they mistook our place for a zoo what with all the names being used…
Why don’t we stick together till our ‘soulmates’ (in your case a certain Milano and in my case Pierce Brosnan or George Clooney whoever comes first) comes a calling?
I can’t think of irritating or fighting or nagging anybody else from whom I derive such great pleasure …
And Oops! Before I forget…. Here’s wishing you a very very happy birthday…
Loads of Louwe,
Eljo
You know we are not one of those picture postcard type couples; the types who are the epitome of maturity, wisdom and of course love. Coz we are as different as they come. If one said “ka” the other would automatically say ‘Ma”; If one likes “gulab jamun” the other likes “roshogolla”; if one is a pure non-vegetarian the other is a brahmin in disguise; if one is a pala achayan the other is a metro-mallu. Though the success rates of our shared hobbies keep fluctuating like a patient’s heartbeat in ER, still we manage to co-exist and have not yet clobbered each other though at times we have come very close to it.
You know that I am somebody who finds it very difficult to display emotions in public whereas you are so open about the way you feel. Coming from a family where display of emotions physically is a rarity, it was a culture shock initially to come into your family and start kissing everybody. Now that I have got the hang of kissing, could you plzzz invite those yummilicious cousins of yours? *wink, wink*
It is becoming increasing difficult to tone down our terms of endearment or should I say “name-calling” especially since we have so many guests at home. People visiting us would be forgiven if they mistook our place for a zoo what with all the names being used…
Why don’t we stick together till our ‘soulmates’ (in your case a certain Milano and in my case Pierce Brosnan or George Clooney whoever comes first) comes a calling?
I can’t think of irritating or fighting or nagging anybody else from whom I derive such great pleasure …
And Oops! Before I forget…. Here’s wishing you a very very happy birthday…
Loads of Louwe,
Eljo
Friday, February 22, 2008
Its official!!!
Its official my dear friends, romans and kandry fellas that I am a certified baking disaster…:-( Now disaster is a very mild word… more like a catastrophe …if there is some other word, which can encompass the enormity, plzzz let me know. Will put in that word…) *sigh*
The whole problem started the day I got hooked onto food blogs. All these online food goddesses & food gods were posting drool worthy pics and were giving me the impression that baking was a dream. I do partially agree to their statement except that baking is turning into a nightmare for me :-(
Now to list my case:
i) First effort was a simple microwave chocolate cake, which came out well… surprisingly… Now it looked like a cake, also if you were blindfolded and asked to bite it, you would have bravely guessed “Cake???” Now your guess could have been at the risk of your life, so you had no choice but to guess “Cake???” (mmm, we get the picture, don’t we???)
ii) Fortified by the first result I went about making an eggless cake for one of my veggie friends on her birthday. The end result was a rubbery concoction, which could only be eaten with the same pleasure as that of eating chavaprasham or drinking kashayam. Now my friend is an expert in PR and to give the gal credit she bravely took one bite of my creation and had even the grace to go “mmmm” when her mouth was seriously begging to form an “ewwww”. Surprisingly she is still friends with me after that fiasco though very clearly there has been no more requests for cake…
iii) Then the “volcano” cake… this one was designed by soul sistah and yours truly. Before people get wind of this superlative dessert (?) we should run and patent it. The end result was an erupting lava spewing cake (?!?).
iv) Now seeing my success rates with the cakes, I decided to bring my goals a li’l lower and set my sights on making “puffs” or the “nadan pups” (not to be confused with kutty doggies). As per the instructions all I had to do was cut pastry sheets, insert filling, gently cover it and place in the oven for abt 12 min at a certain temperature. The end result should have been golden brown puffs waiting to be bitten but what I got was a broken plate and soggy pastry sheets. With utmost haste and horror, the resulting mess graced the garbage bin within nanoseconds and a suitable dish was made to appease hubz to get him into the mood to listen to my disaster…
The ever insightful and long suffering hubz has discovered that it is infact cost effective and remarkably tension free & not to mention hassle free if we simply bought these little devils from our local baker. I can imagine his viewpoint. He feels like having the sinful (but so bad for waistline) Choco-Dutch Truffle.
Scenario I: Have a smile on his lips, walk barely 5 feet and greet our sweet assistant at the bakery or bakkerij as they say here. Order two truffles and walk home and bite into them. (Hah! Life is simple)
Secnario II: Now, if I were to make the little devils at home.
Eljo: Hubz, I am making Choco-Dutch truffles today…
Hubz : *in shock, thinks of ways to dampen my enthusiasm* I don’t like those darn things.
Eljo: *rubbing her hands in glee* Whoever asked you in the first place???
Hubz: *realizing tactic is not working tries another strategy* You realise what you are getting into???? I will not clean up the resulting mess.
Eljo: *conveniently goes into selective hearing mode*
After about three quarters of an hour
Eljo: *panicking* err… HUBZZZZZZZZZZ… I think we have a SMALL problem…
Hubz: Not responding *read selective hearing mode ON*
Eljo: Plzzzz… I promise not to try baking again.
Hubz: *selective hearing mode OFF & wondering for the nth time when Eljo will concede defeat * rushes to help Poor Eljo(whose plates are broken but not yet her spirit)
Hubz:Is this the right time to say, “I told you so”???
ELJO: @&*&$*@#&$
Hubz: Yeah, I thought not…
At present, I have a restraining order against my oven. Nowadays when Hubz catches me looking longingly at the oven, he tries distracting my attention. It looks eerily similar to handing lollipops to kutty babies so that they forget about the crystals and delicate jars they were planning to inspect.
Lately I get the feeling akin to Godzilla when I enter my kitchen. I swear I can feel all my glass plates shivering and running to the end of the rack so that its not their turn to lay down their life in my quest for that sinful dark yummilicious chocolate cake.
So, my dear sympathizers do put in a good word on my behalf to dear hubz so that he lets me near the oven again…
To my defence, my point of contention is whats life without a little adventure … and some broken plates…and a royal mess to clean up… and *sniff* whats that burning smell??? Oops dearies, time to go… Ta da….
The whole problem started the day I got hooked onto food blogs. All these online food goddesses & food gods were posting drool worthy pics and were giving me the impression that baking was a dream. I do partially agree to their statement except that baking is turning into a nightmare for me :-(
Now to list my case:
i) First effort was a simple microwave chocolate cake, which came out well… surprisingly… Now it looked like a cake, also if you were blindfolded and asked to bite it, you would have bravely guessed “Cake???” Now your guess could have been at the risk of your life, so you had no choice but to guess “Cake???” (mmm, we get the picture, don’t we???)
ii) Fortified by the first result I went about making an eggless cake for one of my veggie friends on her birthday. The end result was a rubbery concoction, which could only be eaten with the same pleasure as that of eating chavaprasham or drinking kashayam. Now my friend is an expert in PR and to give the gal credit she bravely took one bite of my creation and had even the grace to go “mmmm” when her mouth was seriously begging to form an “ewwww”. Surprisingly she is still friends with me after that fiasco though very clearly there has been no more requests for cake…
iii) Then the “volcano” cake… this one was designed by soul sistah and yours truly. Before people get wind of this superlative dessert (?) we should run and patent it. The end result was an erupting lava spewing cake (?!?).
iv) Now seeing my success rates with the cakes, I decided to bring my goals a li’l lower and set my sights on making “puffs” or the “nadan pups” (not to be confused with kutty doggies). As per the instructions all I had to do was cut pastry sheets, insert filling, gently cover it and place in the oven for abt 12 min at a certain temperature. The end result should have been golden brown puffs waiting to be bitten but what I got was a broken plate and soggy pastry sheets. With utmost haste and horror, the resulting mess graced the garbage bin within nanoseconds and a suitable dish was made to appease hubz to get him into the mood to listen to my disaster…
The ever insightful and long suffering hubz has discovered that it is infact cost effective and remarkably tension free & not to mention hassle free if we simply bought these little devils from our local baker. I can imagine his viewpoint. He feels like having the sinful (but so bad for waistline) Choco-Dutch Truffle.
Scenario I: Have a smile on his lips, walk barely 5 feet and greet our sweet assistant at the bakery or bakkerij as they say here. Order two truffles and walk home and bite into them. (Hah! Life is simple)
Secnario II: Now, if I were to make the little devils at home.
Eljo: Hubz, I am making Choco-Dutch truffles today…
Hubz : *in shock, thinks of ways to dampen my enthusiasm* I don’t like those darn things.
Eljo: *rubbing her hands in glee* Whoever asked you in the first place???
Hubz: *realizing tactic is not working tries another strategy* You realise what you are getting into???? I will not clean up the resulting mess.
Eljo: *conveniently goes into selective hearing mode*
After about three quarters of an hour
Eljo: *panicking* err… HUBZZZZZZZZZZ… I think we have a SMALL problem…
Hubz: Not responding *read selective hearing mode ON*
Eljo: Plzzzz… I promise not to try baking again.
Hubz: *selective hearing mode OFF & wondering for the nth time when Eljo will concede defeat * rushes to help Poor Eljo(whose plates are broken but not yet her spirit)
Hubz:Is this the right time to say, “I told you so”???
ELJO: @&*&$*@#&$
Hubz: Yeah, I thought not…
At present, I have a restraining order against my oven. Nowadays when Hubz catches me looking longingly at the oven, he tries distracting my attention. It looks eerily similar to handing lollipops to kutty babies so that they forget about the crystals and delicate jars they were planning to inspect.
Lately I get the feeling akin to Godzilla when I enter my kitchen. I swear I can feel all my glass plates shivering and running to the end of the rack so that its not their turn to lay down their life in my quest for that sinful dark yummilicious chocolate cake.
So, my dear sympathizers do put in a good word on my behalf to dear hubz so that he lets me near the oven again…
To my defence, my point of contention is whats life without a little adventure … and some broken plates…and a royal mess to clean up… and *sniff* whats that burning smell??? Oops dearies, time to go… Ta da….
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